The Queen is Dead. Long Live the Queen.

To say my life has drastically changed from my last post would be an understatement. I’m hoping to return to this blog full time and really utilize it as an escape and way of processing my every day life.

To begin the first change in my life, we will go back to September. I celebrated my 28th birthday and let me tell you, I had a feeling 28 was coming up all Katie and boy was I right. My Regional Director, Tiffany, came to the community to announce that our company would be going to a vaccine mandate for all employees, excluding anyone that could get a medical or religious exemption. Now I’ve heard every argument for both sides of this and I can tell you this is something that has personally affected me. At this stage of the COVID vaccine, I do not think there should be a mandate of any kind, but I’ve also seen how bad COVID can affect someone and I wouldnt want that for anyone. I’ve lost residents to COVID and prevaccine had many who were very sick. I also look at the population I work with. Seniors have some of the highest death rates for COVID. I would do anything within my power to protect my seniors and I think most of my fellow senior living workers would agree.

With this mandate, all non vaccinated employees would be terminated by October 4th, which gave everyone about a month to figure out what they wanted to do. We had some hard no’s and some immediate yes’s and A LOT of not sure. However, at the end of the wait period, everyone who wanted to stay got their vaccine and everyone who didnt want to get it left, which included two housekeepers, a kitchen helper, two servers, and the general manager. So guess what that meant for ya girl! Mother-truckin promoted to GM. Now I will be honest and say this is definitely not the way I wanted to get promoted and it ended up costing me a friend in the process, but damn does it feel good to get recognition for the work you’ve been doing. One of the best comments I think was from an employee who was asked how they thought things were going with me in charge and they said everything was the same because I already did everything anyway. It’s also felt really good to get feedback from the residents about how much has improved over the last month and I can honestly give the credit to my team. They’ve really taken over their roles and I’ve let them take ownership of their positions. I dont have time to micromanage. I’m excited to continue on this new endeavor and grow with this company.

The second biggest change in my life has been obtaining FULL CUSTODY of my step son AJ. I know it may seem so sudden because he just went home August 15th. On October 21st Anthony got a call from Rick, AJ’s grandpa, informing him that Keely, AJ’s mother had been arrested a couple weeks prior for DUI among other things, including drugs. He said she came home after bonding out, but he needed Anthony to come get AJ. He said it wasnt fair to AJ and he just wasnt in a position to care for him anymore. For those of you who haven’t read my blog before, last summer during the custody hearing, we requested drug testing and offered to submit to it ourselves, but the judge said without any tangible proof of drug use we just looked vindictive and gave custody of AJ to his mother and gave her the parenting plan of her dreams; All the control and decision making in AJs life, including the say in anything we wanted to do with him. Fast forward, Anthony manages to make it to Montana on Saturday in what can only be described as the trip from hell, but he made it. I have to give so much credit to Rick for putting AJ’s needs first. It takes a truly selfless person to go against his own daughter and say it’s not best for AJ to be around his daughter right now. I know Rick loves AJ more than anything, but Rick hasnt gotten to be AJ’s grandpa for over a year, probably more. He’s had to be his parent and that’s not fair to either of them, especially since he doesnt have a vehicle. That means it’s just him and AJ 24/7 with very minimal effort from AJ’s mother. I love AJ to death, but he’s exhausting for me. I cant imagine someone who isnt in the best health trying to wrangle a energetic little monster.

We get emergency custody filed and a court date set. Meanwhile, Keely is trying to say this is just temporary until she can get her life together (mind you last year we went through the same thing, but we learned our lesson there). Rick agreed to attend the court hearing and testify on AJ’s behalf as to what their living situation as been and the absence of his mother. The week before the court date, Anthony gets a call from the Highway Patrolmen who arrested Keely. He informs Anthony that she did get arrested for DUI (driving under the influence of drugs), but he couldnt tell Anthony what else was pending because it wasnt technically his business. Anthony explained that he was going to court for AJ’s custody and he was trying to understand the situation prior to court. The HiPo explained that while he couldnt say exactly what she was going to be charged with that it was pretty “heavy hitting” stuff and not just traffic violations. All during this time, Keely is maintaining that there’s nothing bad coming her way, but makes it very clear that she is not attending the hearing because the cops are looking for her. A win in our position.

Friday comes and within 20 minutes of the hearing the Judge grants us full custody of AJ. No questions, no pleading, just facts and a decision. The judge asked Anthony about visitation for Keely and Anthony explained that we dont want to keep AJ from her, but she has some serious life changes to make before it’s safe for him to be around her. They agree on electronic and supervised visitation only. Rick didnt have to testify, but he was still able to make a statement regarding AJ’s best interest. When I tell you the burden was lifted, it was lifted high. His mother still has not reached out regarding the decision and I’m not even sure if she’s aware of what the judge decided. I really do pray for her and hope she is able to change her life for the positive because AJ needs his mom. As much as I am a mother figure in his life, she will always be his mom. He deserves to not have to question where his mom is or why he isnt with her.

So in less than a month I’ve been promoted and gained a 3.5 year old. It has been a whirlwind. I’m so grateful for everyone who has help us get through the last couple of weeks and helped us stabilize our life. From money to time and energy, to just being nice to my kid has been so wonderful and it doesnt go unappreciated. I’d be lying if I said I didnt pray for this day to come, but in reality for the last month I’ve felt this need to pray for AJ to come to our home permanently. Not because I wanted his mother to fail, but because I want what is best for AJ. In just a couple of weeks he’s a different kid. He still has some anger he is processing through, but he’s starting to relax and actually have fun. We’ve had the talk with him about him staying in Texas permanently and it seemed to make him feel more secure. We still talk about his mom in a positive light and he video calls his papa Rick every week. Keep us in your prayers yall. I’m excited for everything coming our way and I cant wait for the new Brown Family Adventures.

Loving Through Hate

For those of you who don’t know, I married into a blended family. My husband has two beautiful, amazing, intelligent, and charismatic children. Even at 3 and 13, they are unique and bright individuals and I love them to death. This afternoon while at the grocery store I finally got around to picking up some things for AJ’s Easter basket since it’s something we started with him at our house and I’m not sure if his mother will get him anything since she hates Christianity. I’ve been planning to do this for about a month now because I really just want to do something nice for AJ, but as I’m walking through the store, the ever creeping voice of doubt started to come in. “You know you don’t have to buy this stuff. Keely has said so many hateful things about you. Why should you do anything for AJ when she’s just going to say it’s from her or not even say thank you?” Over and over while I’m picking out things.

It’s true. Keely has said some terrible things about me. On multiple occasions calling me a cow, a whale, really every variation of fat she can come up with. She’s said there’s a reason God made sure I couldn’t have children. She’s accused me of mistreating AJ. Shes denied me access to talking to AJ. She’s said that I’m Anthony’s “rich girlfriend” and I basically pay for everything while he lives in poverty. So on and so on.

I have so many reasons to hate her. Not just for the things she’s said about me, when she really doesn’t know me, but for the things she’s said and done to Anthony. However, at the end of the day she really doesn’t mean much to me. I mean really, I have Anthony because of what a terrible person she is and I get to love and spoil her child even though he’s not mine. Am I jealous that she was blessed with this phenomenal child that she really doesn’t care about? Ya I am, but that doesn’t affect how much I love and adore AJ and it doesn’t affect how much I pray for her.

That’s right I said it. Pray for her. Let me tell you, it’s not easy. God has woken me up in the middle of the night to pray for her. Do you know how aggravating that is? To be forced awake and have to stay awake until you pray for someone that you cannot stand? I pray for her because I want her life to get better for AJ’s sake. I want her to be a better mother. Side note: I pray for both of the children’s mothers because I want them both to be blessed and my step children to be blessed.

Believe me, it’s really easy to build up my self worth and compare myself to her. I have a college degree, I have my own car and house, I have a phenomenal job, and I have an amazing husband who adores me. Listen I may not be a skinny Minnie, but honey, I’ve been thick since the 6th grade. She’s gonna have to do better than calling me fat. But what else could she make fun of? I’m smart, educated, well employed, and apparently “rich” and live a “luxurious lifestyle.”

Now I shouldn’t do that. Thats technically being self righteous and judgmental and I don’t want to be that person. God has called me to be better than that, and that’s why I pray for her. That’s why I don’t let someone who’s a blip on my radar of self worth and wonderful life become a wave of despair and tension.

So go forth this week and love yourself. Love your kids. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.